It's taken years of practice and careful honing, but I can honestly say I have developed a knack for smiling and nodding and an even greater knack for giving discourses on smiling and nodding. The combination of actions is essential for making one's way in a city known for masked expression and subterfuge. All one has to do to maintain a semblance of interest in a gnawingly vapid conversation/soliloquy is maintain a constant smile and nod at select moments in the other's monologue.
A two-hour wait at Central Casting--during which a chatty African American man graced me with his worldly wisdom, completely unsolicited--offered me a chance to put this skill to good use. Compare and contrast the following snippets of our interaction:
I suppose one could argue that, in this case, smiling and nodding was the nicer option than expressing exactly what was on my mind, because I feel nothing but unbridled repugnance for unsolicited monologues. One could also argue that by smiling and nodding, I was affirming his marital hypocrisies. Perhaps that's why acting is such a draw for so many people. One can both treat a person contrarily to how one feels about them and berate their shortcomings, all while carefully shielded by the identity of another person, cyborg, air bison... A pity directness doesn't come with a paycheck.
A two-hour wait at Central Casting--during which a chatty African American man graced me with his worldly wisdom, completely unsolicited--offered me a chance to put this skill to good use. Compare and contrast the following snippets of our interaction:
| Conveyed by Smiling and Nodding: | My Honest to Goodness Self: |
| - That's a great guess that your arms are 42 inches long. Good thing you looked at my paper with my sleeve measurements and added six inches to find your dimensions. | - I'm at 36, and I've got at least two inches on you, buddy. Have fun with your kimono shirts. |
| - Wow, a casting director mistook you for your 18-year old son's brother, but you're really 47 years old? Where did you find the Fountain of Youth? | - She was humoring you, Casanova. Trust me. |
| - You know, you are so right. I should have taken my car in for repairs and maintenance every three months to make sure it's in tip-top shape. | - I'm a starving college graduate. If you want to pay for my car repairs, then by all means... |
| - Yes sir! Being on set surrounded by dozens of loose, bikini-clad women sounds like a dream come true, and you're right. I should be getting some while I'm young. | - I'm on the other team, coach. |
| - Wow, your stories of going behind your wife's back with movie chicks are absolutely riveting. Get me a pen and paper, so I can learn from you, oh great master. | - Why the fuck is the other line moving faster than this one? And how did I end up in the 40-and-older line? |
| - Of course I believe that you really treasure your wife who looks like singer-songwriter Selena, and that you'd never do anything to hurt her. | - Hold on... I didn't catch everything you've been saying for the past half an hour, but I think you mentioned inviting hot female extras into your van after shoots to "watch movies." |
| - It's been great hearing about your exploits for two hours. I feel like a better person because of it. | - Wait a second... I was able to convey to him complete and utter interest for two hours without saying a single word and actually preparing to hang myself with my belt. My God, that's… acting! |
I suppose one could argue that, in this case, smiling and nodding was the nicer option than expressing exactly what was on my mind, because I feel nothing but unbridled repugnance for unsolicited monologues. One could also argue that by smiling and nodding, I was affirming his marital hypocrisies. Perhaps that's why acting is such a draw for so many people. One can both treat a person contrarily to how one feels about them and berate their shortcomings, all while carefully shielded by the identity of another person, cyborg, air bison... A pity directness doesn't come with a paycheck.
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